Now what?

3 drinks
empty stomach - well ok - some fries in between
a wicked buzz
a lot of cussing and swearing
lots of laughing with good ol' friends in on a celebration
help me walk me up the stairs later in the evening
up to my apartment-for-a-couple-'more-weeks-now
it's the middle of the night - nay early in the morning
And I suddenly find myself awake, wide awake
Buzz gone away
And hungry as hell

Monsters and action heroes

Conflict is our permanent curse. And as long as there's some form of conflict heroes and villains seem to keep cropping up. Trouble is, several of these "heroes" take to playing the part of do-gooders in order to mask their true intentions like seeking personal gratification of some sort, or to hide their insecurities regarding their own shortcomings, or guilt at having been villains in some way at some other time and now want to atone for it somehow.

Villains, for their part so it seems, are always f**king with humanity, and heroes are always seemingly trying to stop them and consequently save humanity. It's just not in the nature of do-gooding heroes to be content living the calm life like the rest of us common folk suckered into watching one crappy TV show after another. Nope. Heroes are always itching for a fight.

The sad part about the whole thing though is that sometimes the itch to indulge in some blood-letting gets to them so bad - that they actually create monsters out of thin air. Just so that they can have some kind of conflict. Just so that they could justify their own presence in some way most of all to themselves and thereby feel relevant.

That though is little consolation for people who have lost their lives and/or their minds in this battle between heroes and villains. Even if you are now wise to all the antics of the conflict seekers, the sad reality is that you cannot distance yourself from one side or the other. To all of us who lie in between, these self-appointed heroes and their chosen villains (in many cases self-appointed heroes themselves) are both edges of the same knife; the same knife thats sticking out of our collective backs.

Fishing for Validation with Depravity as Bait

Not all depravity is humourless. In fact, I'd even say that most depravity is humourous. What's really funny, in a sad way, is a joke that's not very funny. Whats sad for me (and sadly or happily funny for you) is that I'm mouthing those unfunny jokes.

Cracking jokes is some kind of a validation trip. That validation is gained through the laughter we induce. The more maniacal the laughter, the more validated we feel. There's nothing more satisfying than a wise crack that gets a lot of laughs. Wit is a sign of intelligence, especially the ones we make on the fly. Or so we keep telling ourselves. So to prove our own intelligence to people around us, most of all to ourselves perhaps, we keep trying to get a witty comment in. When they laugh, it's like, "Wow! That went down well! I must be freakin' funny or something!"

Trouble is, wit is highly subjective. What's funny to me ain't necessarily funny to you. Some get it. Some don't. And there are some who pretend like they don't want to get it. But I have to say that getting it is a good thing. It's stress relieving. It's invigorating. It's tiring - but in a good way. Ok! I digressed from talking about getting jokes to getting some other "it".

See? That was another cheap attempt at humour. It's really sad how badly I want you to laugh at something that cheap. As the title says, I'm fishing for validation using depravity as bait. See how well I linked all that? Chalk coming up with stupid titles as another talent I have.

Night Skyline - Mumbai

A new look for this page - transitory it will be like most things. My absence is due to work. Loads of it. There is some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. But it's still a little ways to go. Will get there eventually.

I found this link with various images of different Mumbai skylines a few days ago. The link belongs to a forum for skyscraper aficianados called Skyscrapercity, and the topic is a view of the various Mumbai skylines at night-time. Some of the pictures are breathtaking, especially the ones posted by the user who goes by the name "Magestom". I have attached two of the several images from that site here.

With that, it's back to work for me though. Meanwhile, enjoy these pictures of my hometown.

(both pics courtesy: http://www.skyscrapercity.com)

BrijWhiz grows older!

Many happy returns of the day (August 25th) to BrijWhiz, my personal pioneer and more importantly, one of the very best of buddies a guy ( and/or a woman) can have.

Brij, may your hopes and aspirations for the next year of your life be fulfilled. May your wealth and stock options continue to grow. And may you finally be able to stay away from the hookers and the booze. Oh right! Sorry! You're way past that phase of your life, and your wife wouldn't want to hear of your past exploits. Or rather, I mean the lack thereof (for Megz's sake!).

Continuing on then; may your wife have something sexy and naughty planned for you - and may you help her out a little more by taking a shower finally. (I did that on my birthday and it was received with the most heartfelt expressions of gratitude. One needs to do good deeds as mentioned above annually. Too often though, and you risk diluting the enormity of that particular expression of love.) Shaving your facial hair may be a little too much of a shock for the poor thing though. So go easy on her. One thing at a time.

Ok. Ok. All that roasting aside, a toast to all the good times and bad we've all shared over the last several years, and to all the good people we've met, and the bad ones we dissed, and the pretty ones we ogled. And to your continued presence online and offline (whatever offline and online means). Don't need a share of the stock options though to say life is immeasurably richer with you around (but would definitely help)!

P.S. Just found out that BrijWhiz shares his birthday with ... Sean Connery - whoosh 76 yearsh old today! Now I know why you've had the luck with the ladies, and a penchant for Scotch! Cheers buddy!

Hope

Ssshh! Don't speak that word. Don't say it out loud. Don't say it like its OK to use it. It's not. There are kids around. You don't want them to ask you what it means, do you?

"Sure, if you want to listen to all the bad news things will always look a tad grim, won't they?! But if you look at all the good things happening - you'll know that its not all bad. In fact, things are getting better. We've turned a corner for sure."

The governments are all trying to put a wicked spin on the facts. Signs, they say, that everything is going well - even getting better. That you've never been safer. But then they also tell you to board up, stock up, tape up and hunker down - safety helmets on - just in case. Just in case what? Just in case, for instance, the unknown Islamo-fascist drives a tank thru the walls of your erstwhile cozy homes, or better still, blows you up to bits.

"... Just in case something bad happens - which, might I add, is not going to happen in the first place."

I suppose then, people like this chick who writes on Baghdad Burning is, at the very least, a pessimist! At worst, she's probably fabricating all this sitting in some desert oasis eating the choicest dates of the land. She must really hate democracy and freedom!

"Absolutely! She needs to cheer up a little. Go party somewhere. Get a life."

Listen to the great white "protector" ramble on about how "democracy" is making all the difference. Like how the world is such a dangerous place today, but still, you've never been safer than you are today. So hunker down in those bunkers, and let your protectors do what we they do best(?). To put on their robes, their cross, their kippahs, their threads and tikas, and take on the bearded zealots. Slaughter them and their brethren, as they slaughter yours, and bomb more trains and run planes into more buildings of your people (and some of theirs).

"Hey! They started the fire - didn't they?! Meanwhile, we'll be taking away some of your freedoms while we're taking care of this problem. Relax though! Its only to protect your freedoms in the first place. See? It's all very, very simple!"

"And if you're too concerned with how your life's not quite turning out right - about how your little corner of the globe is getting a little too hot - move to some palce else. Like California, man! California rocks. There are all those movie stars over there, theme parks, fancy cars that run on premium unleaded, lovely natural vistas, people living carefree lives sipping Mochas, californicating all the time! That's what you should be doing!"

So run away tonight! Forget your worries. Your problems. Your struggles. Your disagreements. Your sense of attachments, of belonging. Your boredom. It's all going to get better. Just ... try not to h--e. Why ruin a perfectly good gig?

I used to h--e. I used to try and pass it around. Not much's coming back these days. Now, my stash is empty.

Maybe your stash is empty coz you've smoked it all away - you stupid f**k!

"Losing my Religion"

I know, I know all I have been doing here for the past couple of weeks is putting up pictures or embedding YouTube videos. I agree the whole video linking and sharing is wonderful if its used properly - and NOT excessively. It's like thinking that babies love to be tickled all the f**king time. They don't!! At least not you babies out there.

Ah do apologize for mah excess.

Be that as it may, I'm back here with another video: once again ("Lord have mercy!") from CBS's RockStar Supernova. But this time, it's from a performer you haven't seen before on this space - Ryan Star. And I was eating my dinner on my couch watching the show when this performance came up and I stopped chewing for a ... lengthy period of time. I have since viewed this performance, and heard it on mp3 format several times. I think some of you (who haven't yet seen it) will do that too - before you exorcise it out of your system.

Here's Ryan Star then - on this very short video clip from this past Tuesday's episode of Rockstar Supernova with a wonderfully fresh rendition of R.E.M.'s classic "Losing my religion".



To get more of the Supernova stuff ( videos, mp3's , bio's, etc.) visit Supernova Fans . I wish I could say that this will be my last video post on the topic of Rockstar Supernova... but I can't. So you'll have to bear with me for a little while more on this and hope that I get tired of watching the show and quit yapping about it, and move on to something else.

Problem: There's nothing worthwhile to move on to!

Devi

Continuing on with women-centric posts, here's Devi, a virtual child superhero goddess born out of the partnership between Shekhar Kapur and Deepak Chopra and Virgin Comics (and therefore by default - Richard Branson - since he's owns Virgin).

"She's Devi. A fierce feminine warrior, stronger than the Gods themselves, she is reincarnated into the body of a human woman each time a great threat faces the Pantheon. She is the champion of the heavens and the protector of man."

Now that's impressive introduction. The artwork's very impressive too, at least that's my impression from the sample pages provided. It's about time we had some good Manga with India-centric themes!

Another interesting title in the works by Virgin Comics is Ramayan Reborn. The art work is once again interesting - in a very, very good way. I'll be looking out for copies at local bookstores soon.

However, my only grudge is the language used in the comics. At least within the sample pages, the dialogues somehow seemed a trifle out-of-sync with the artwork. Even the snippet from Devi's introduction that I reproduced here uses terminology of the like "human woman". Hmmm. And here I thought all women were human!

Seriously though, there might be other explanations for gaffes like that. Perhaps, the text on the web-site was hurriedly written by overworked and underpaid writers. Or it could mean the mythologies behind the characters themselves permit the differentiation between a human woman and, for instance, a devil woman or Asura woman, or ... well... we'll have to wait and see. That minor niggle aside, I sense good things for this comic. Even if the language seems stunted somehow, hey, atleast we'll have cool wallpapers of Indian superheroes and such.

Now if only I can get my hands on a copy of one of those comic books, I could sit and read by my window, sipping my hot coffee in my cool NCState mug, watching the snow fall as nuclear winter descends.


(pics courtesy Virgin Comics.)

Storm Large - Bad Ass Beauty!

I guess its the easier alternative out - put up a post with minimal effort by embedding a YouTube video link. But really, what I am more concerned about is whether the material I "work so hard at" putting up in some way contributes to making your day interesting, if even in the smallest manner possible.

Ok. Thats mostly bull. I am lazy. No getting around it. I have a whole lot of work that I am very stressed about, and that allows me the liberty of continuing to being an ass about all the things I should be doing, people whose calls I should be returning, people who I should be calling, just a whole lot of stuff that's been on the backburner for a while now.

"No. Not now. A terrible purpose awaits me impatiently. All else pales before it. I just cannot be bothered with the trivialities of our social existences while my destiny calls. Not now. No."

But back to the subject of the post.

This is of course my third post connected with "Rockstar: Supernova" on CBS. I apologize to those out there who really don't give a damn about all this Rockstar business. But, if you've read my earlier two posts (1. and 2.), I linked videos of 4 contestants that kinda impressed me on post 1 after week 1 of their performances. Since then, Josh Logan has sorta alienated himself and seems more of a misfit in a setup that isn't be willing to be dragged into so much soul. Heavy metal is definitely a stretch for him. In short, he's a musician - but he doesn't belong here.

I still back Lukas Rossi and Dilana to be the front runners for this gig tho. Even if they don't make it as "Rockstar" i.e. a chance to front the band "Supernova" - and sometimes I think they probably deserve a better deal than this one entails for them as winners - I'd follow their individual music careers with a whole lotta interest. Possibly even more than I'd care about Supernova really!

While it's difficult to find other performances for Dilana on, say YouTube, the search term "Lukas Rossi" does return other performances of Lukas not connected to the show. And yes, he's good. Very good. And I'll try and put up links if possible for Lukas a little later, for those lazy or uninclined to do any searching.

But before we glimpse more into Lukas, there is one other person who deserves attention. I have to reiterate - that Storm Large is one helluva package. Searching for her on YouTube, returned this live performance of hers (location: I-Dunno), with her erstwhile band "Storm, Inc."




This beauty is one Bad Ass, isn't she! And not that I thought any comparisons to Jimmy Morrison were valid here, but her diatribe did sorta rake up the memory of the "Lizard King". But even outside of that comparison, there's a lot more to her than she's revealed on Rockstar. If all her live shows are like this little piece, i.e. she can let herself go each time she performs, then add her to the list of people whose musical career I'd follow. With a personality as intriguing as hers, that's not going to be much of a bother. Not at all.

Two of the ladies on "Rockstar: Supernova"

I mentioned to some of y'all the show Rockstar: Supernova on CBS in an earlier post. Here're couple more snippets of two of the ladies on the ongoing show; these are from Tuesday's airing (July25th, 2006).

First one's Dilana performing the classic 80's hit "Time after time" by Cyndi Lauper. Bear in mind that she's auditioning for a heavy metal band. Of course, if you saw the earlier snippet of her in the earlier post, you'd know she fits right in to heavy metal. But this reworking of a classic pop hit shows lots of talent, and guts to pull it off so well.



I almost like this version as much as the original. Well performed.


The second one's Storm Large performing "Anything, Anything" by Dramarama. I'd have to say she's one great package. Enjoy her performance, including that dive into the crowd of some real lucky men (and women).

Hah! v/s Duh! (Hi-tek v/s Lo-Tek)

Venky initiated this discussion on "Would our kids label us as technology illiterate?" Sorta like how we label our parents and their "unsavviness" with regards to modern technology and its use.

Venky's point of view (in his own words) is: "I strongly believe that we (our generation) would bridge the gap between generations as far as using technology is concerned. I’m sure we will NEVER be as up-to-date as our teenage kids (whenever that happens) but we will at least be in the same ballpark – and that is to say that we will be a few steps ahead of our parents’ generation.".

You can read more about his views and his justifications/ reasoning on that earlier link. And as per Brij's request to help further the discussion, I am "copy-pasting" the comment I made earlier to that discussion as a regular post here:

---------
(July 17, 2006):


Nice discussion there Venky. And although you made some good arguments there, I'd have to say as far as tech-savviness is concerned - the NextGen will be superior.

However, I guess it's important that you separete medium from content in your argument. My firm feeling is (just as Pranav and Soumya) that the average person only picks up so much tech kno-how (essentially knowledge) as much as is of use to that person. Anything more is purely incidental.

In other words, soon you may be using the latest phones and gadgets (as you are so inclined ;) ) but there will be menu items, tabs and mechanisms for which you will have no use for - but the next gen might. For instance rating bars, hangouts, bands, even popular classmates, etc. instantly, or as some of my PhD friends suggested, obtaining a GPS location of the nearest cool joint where the highest number of hip and popular are currently hanging out. Or consider next generation VR games for which there will be better tactile tools for social interaction in virtual communities. How much of use would we have for it once we sink further into our settled mode of social interaction? But would that prevent the next gen from adapting to it? I don't think so. We'd never know how to use next gen virtual interaction equipment by and large, simply because we'd have no use for it.

Not compelling examples those, but just to demonstrate that there'll be tons of stuff around for which we when we grow older - will have no use for. But these things will be developed keeping the NextGen in mind.

Again, as I said medium and content need separation in any discussion on future tech. The reason is that as long as the media which is available to us is supplying us with all the content that we need, there will be very little impetus to move on to something else. Unless and until, we are convinced that the an alternative exists thats atleast as good if not better than our current options, and/or else is being used widely by others.

Those who stay ahead of the curve will have a better chance of adapting to the new tech world. And being tech-savvy could be a powerful tool for the coming future. But, those persons would be more of the few exceptions than the significant majority obeying the rule.

To sum up the sentiment, here's a quote from more than 100 years ago:

"Everything that can be invented has been invented."

-Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents, 1899.

---------

Stuff

For Mumbai lovers only, Mid-Day's anniversary issue is a must browse (if not read). There are great accompanying pictures, vignettes into the everyday life of a Mumbaikar. ( Clicking on the article will open the article in a readable form on a separate window. )


I have also been watching a webcast of the daily India news on CNN-IBN. Click on the link on the top right of the web-page that allows you to view the webcast. This, for those who want to keep track of the current status of the blasts probe.

"Inanities, Bagatelles"

...is the title of Raoul's blog.

From dictionary.com:
"Bagatelle:
1. An unimportant or insignificant thing; a trifle.
2. A short, light piece of verse or music.
3. A game played on an oblong table with a cue and balls."

Now that the meaning of "bagatelles" is out of the way, I have to say that it pains me that there are so many good writers out there and yet there's so little material that they churn out. Not that you have to be a writer to write (or blog). If you've made some meaningful contribution on any scale you can think of (while being mostly honest to yourself), you could pat yourself on the back for that. And you'll probably get better at it the more you do it - which is true for a lot of things in life. ;)

However, there are some folks out there who have the ability that most of us don't - to contribute a real lot even when they're not really saying too much. And one hopes that they say a lot more than they let on.

Which brings us back to Raoul.

Rockstar: Supernova

CBS's second season of their Rockstar show. Sorta like American Idol - except that all the finalists here are rockers or rocker wannabes with a chance for the winner (after all contenders have been systematically eliminated) to be the lead singer of (or to front as they'd say it) a rock band.

Last season, it was the Australian band INXS. This season, it's a newly formed band called "Supernova" with Tommy Lee (ex-Motley Crue and Pam Anderson's ex-husband), Jason Newsted (ex-Metallica) and Gilby Clarke (ex-GNR ). All three of 'em plus Dave Navarro (Red Hot Chilli Peppers) will judge the 15 finalists.

I happened to catch some episodes of Rockstar last season. Before the first show Of last season kicked off, I was very skeptical about the whole deal and didn't really expect anything unique out of it - given the surfeit of singing talent shows like American Idol. However, what won me over at the end of that first show was the talent on display - among the constestants were some really good rockers.

This season's first show aired Wednesday evening - and once again the season start was far from disappointing. In fact, I was more impressed with the finalists this year around than last year. Considering that they're auditioning for a screaming, heavy metal band that's yet to record a single song - it seems like a great chance for one of them to finally bag that one great deal. And what's really cool about the whole thing is the fact that Metal is actually primetime TV (8.00 p.m.)!!

I'll try to post some of the vids from youtube of the finalists I think seem to be early candidates to win this thing. Although you never really know what this new band is looking for and whether they'll actually record something one day.


Rockstar Supernova: Josh Logan

Here's Josh Logan - the rocker with a bit of soul.

Dilana on Rockstar: Supernova

Scary, yet mesmerizing Dilana. While that was a great performance, her act could quickly get stale if that's all she can do.

Storm Large on Rockstar Supernova

Rock could be pretty if we had more singers like her (and few like Steven Tyler!).

Lukas Rossi on Rockstar Supernova

And finally, the frontrunner I believe after week 1 - Lukas Rossi from Canada. This guy is so crazily talented (I watched some more of his clips on youtube, search words: "Lukas Rossi"), he deserves a full band and a great record deal.

More on Shamu!

Earlier, in this post about Shamu, I mentioned how it irritates me that the Sea World people are scamming us all by calling all their whales Shamu - as if we dumb people wouldn't realize that they're all not the same freakin' animal.

Alternately though, there are other perspectives on Shamu. For instance, here's an article titled "What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage" by Amy Sutherland about how our beloved Sea World scamster helped her manage her partner better. This is a good read for the ladies (insight into ways in which you could tame that gorilla who lives and sleeps with you), and also for the men (insight into how "that gentle thang" will find some way to get you to always jump thru' hoops while you're thinking you're really showing her who's boss!).

It's funny and yet - quite scary.

2 kinds

People love categorizing things. Easier to manage - things are if they're categorized. And as far as categorizing people is concerned - for most of us it's usually categorizing people into 2 kinds. The types differ. There's good or evil, right or wrong, black or white, rich or poor, capitalist or communist, with you or against you. Stuff. All appropriate in some context or situation

Increasingly though for me, there are just two kinds of people. Those who are (1) honest to themselves, and (2) those who aren't. And while I don't (quite ironically) know where I belong, I sure know where I want to.

I can't really think of any way to tell for sure who belongs to which category. Mainly because that categorization is so completely internal. I know would like to belong to category 1. Heck, I think we all should aspire to be in category 1. But I also know that I am not really that honest to myself. I know sometimes being honest to oneself is depressing. Especially when you realize that you're not as virtuous as you believe yourself to be.

But if you really want to start categorizing others as honest to themselves or dishonest to themselves, then you're missing the point somewhat - as I am. Finding out who you are is basically a self-test, and failing it means that you obviously have a lot of work to do internally.

And while I don't really think there's a definite sign that tells you who you are in this context at least, I am starting to think that one way to start off on that path is having an awareness or understanding of a sense of irony. Particularly the ironies in your own life. And if you can't see the irony of how things have turned out for you - you've really really really missed the point all this while.

Common Man and friend at Worli sea-face, Mumbai

(pic courtesy: www.mid-day.com, photographer: Mukesh Parpiani)

Wonder what they're both thinking about. But, I am sure R.K. Laxman's "Common Man" is enjoying the boy's company too. As he stands there taking in the spectacle of the crashing waters of the Arabian Sea, the ebb and flow of the tides, boats and ships in the distance, the approaching monsoon clouds, and the setting sun every evening. Forever lost in contemplation.

Rise and Shine!

( pic courtesy: http://www.nowrunning.com )

Just finished watching "Gangster" by Anurag Basu, starring Shiney Ahuja, Kangna Ranaut and Emraan Hashmi. The only reason I watched this movie was for Shiney. He has a first name of which I'd normally be mocking by now. Except that I am sold to his acting skills - have been since Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi. And that really means that I don't really care what he calls himself. He acts and acts well. And that's all we should really care about.

Of course, I was hardly expecting another Hazaaron... All I was hoping out of Gangster was - perhaps a decent performance by Shiney, some good music, and that would be it. Not offensively bad. Not crazy good either.

Instead, I got to see a very good debut by newcomer Kangna Ranaut, and solid direction by Basu that paid attention to detail while ensuring the the movie itself worked as a whole. All that was a surprise, and a very pleasant one I might add, to me. Hashmi's presence was also not a major irritant (although his entire angle appeared the weakest link in the relatively tight script). Gangster, unlike several of those sleazy, un-original, "inspired" flicks recently churned out by the Bhatt camp (and Bollywood in general), pays a whole lot of attention to studying and exploring the relationships between its principal characters in some depth, particularly the one between the gangster Shiney and his moll Kangna. It was more than a pleasant surprise that the movie turned out to be well-crafted, even with the cursory skin show and a Hashmi lip-locking scene.

How totally unlike recent movies from the Bhatt camp! Which begs the question - which movie was it inspired by? It couldn't actually be an original story, could it? Abhishek Bandekar at efilmcritic raises the same question in this review of the movie.

And finally, how good was Shiney in this movie you ask? Well - he was good. Very, very good. And what's more, Gangster was well-worth it. Surprised? So was I. So was I.

Smoking pot again (3)?

Once, when I was much much younger (and that was a long long time ago), as a birthday gift I received a small wooden wall-hanging on which was inscribed, "The smallest good deed is better than the greatest good intention." I don't really know if the person gifting me that plaque was trying to pass on some kind of a subtle message to me or something. Maybe it was a message of some sort. I dunno. But it took me a long time to figure out the significance and the implication of the entire statement.

Such words of wisdom come from pretty much everywhere - from stuff people once wrote and from stuff wise people from our past once said (or were reported to have once said), or even from pop culture, or from the word on the street. Many of them are so commonplace that we don't even have to say them in their entirety anymore. Its enough to say, "Hey, you know what - if it ain't broke..."

Several times though words of wisdom like the one I started this piece with start to sound terribly cliched. Especially when you start using them when you can't really come up with something original but still want to sound at least pseudo-meaningful. In fact, people blurt out cliches frequently in order to pretend to be wise and offer meaningful advice ("You must look into your heart to find the real truth!" and other such pearls.)

And I don't really know if wise words start sounding like cliches because people who use it are unable to think original, or because our generation is far more skeptical and distrusting of any information that comes our way. Everything starts to sound like some amalgamation of cliches, and ultimately just empty rhetoric. With all the mis-information that is out there in the guise of fact, I wouldn't blame our generation really.

But as the saying, apt for circumspect folks like me, goes, "Even a stopped clock shows the right time twice a day!" What it means in this context is that even the worst cliches are sometimes frustratingly apt. Most of the time, how you perceive "words of wisdom" is really a function of the space-time continuum - i.e. a matter of being at the right place at the right time. And if you are in a situation with your defences down and vulnerable to a cliche-attack, a well-aimed cliche might just hit home. And fit just right.

Just like the horoscope you happen to read on one of your more introspective afternoons. Or the preacher you meet on one of your depressed and (more) depraved days. Or the fortune cookie you crack open after a romantic meal (and not add "In bed" or "And then you die!" to whatever the fortune in it says). Or the affirmation that new age gurus give you validation and affirmation addicts in the guise of leading you on to the path of better living. Or the song you hear on the radio when you're driving home pondering over the status of your relationship with your love ("Free! Free! Set them free!")

And maybe, just maybe, just as a stopped clock showing the right time twice a day, as opposed to other quantifiable (or not) instances of time when it doesn't, the cliche that hits home may just so happen to make far more sense to you than anything original you can come up with. Skepticism may just be a convenient way to excuse ourselves from the business of accountability - which is probably how words of wisdom became cliches in the first place.

"Just because it's a cliche - doesn't always mean it's bullsh#t!"

P.S. New look prompted by BrijWhiz who still remains the pioneer - as always!

The Shamu scam?

If Shamu is everyone's favourite killer whale (or whatever he is ) at Sea World, how come there are four separate whales performing at each of their shows and they're all called Shamu? How's that even possible?

If that weren't enough, there're actually Shamus in Orlando, San Antonio and San Diego - that's right, at all the 3 Sea World locations spread over 3000 miles. How are they at 3 places at the same time? And back to my original question - how are they all called Shamu?!?? Why?!

Americans, you've got to stop naming all your captured animals the same damn thing so as to not get your little bastards all confused and everything.

(Shamu pic courtesy: http://www.adventurist.net )

I need Kavya!

Well, at least to bump up visits to my blog. Not that it was my intention to do so - but I was pleasantly surprised when I looked at my WebStats counter data that I do about once a week, that since I wrote about Kavya on "Internalizing", my blog got a whole buncha hits.

Take a look at this graph that I got from my counter page.


Notice the large hits in the center - they were during the Kavya days. Now that the hype has sorta died down, and we're all not that interested in how badly she screwed up anymore, in short her 15 minutes of infamy are up, well - my site hits are sadly back to what they were earlier. I guess my advice to bloggers out there is, if you want more people to visit your site - write avidly about current topics and watch the hits rise. Oh wait! We're all doing that already. Shoot!

So, the truth is, I need Kavya as much as Kavya needs inspiration. Pretty badly!


Visit my whorehouse soon folks. Until then...

X in Y

For every expatriate of a country x living abroad in country y, you might find yourself in 3 broad kinds of places in y. Some of you mught have experienced all three in one place over a period of time. (Several of you will have no idea what I am currently trippin' on.)

A. Oh so very few from x living around you

If so, you're probably thinking:
"God! I wish there was someone from x living around here. Someone I could relate to. This place is so freakin barren and alien. And I am so tired of being like the locals, eating their goddamned crappy food and pretending to enjoy their freakin' country and their music, and their so called culture and cuisine. Hell! I am just here for the opportunities and the money."


B. A good number of those from x living around you. But they're not all over the place or something.

If so, you're probably thinking:
"God! I wish there weren't so many of them from x around here like me. Especially those untidy, smelly ones with the funny accents they haven't bothered to adapt to y. Now the locals think I am like that smelly, dark x character - while I am clearly not. Also, I am not unique here in any way. I should be friendly with those from x though, since I don't want to feel alone in an alien country. But they'll start cosying up to me too much, or judge me and all that - me with my changed lifestyle and already having adapted myself to y. In fact, I secretly want these y's to think I am from y and not really from x. But I am not really from y am I? And what if these y people always think of me as from x no matter how y I become? I don't want to be considered a x'ian! What do I do? God! I am so freakin' confused!"


C. A very large number of x living around you. So many that they can be seen and heard everywhere.

And if that's so, then you're probably thinking:
"God! These freakin' locals. They always look at me funny and make fun of my accent all the time. You know what? F**k 'em. I am going to be an x'ian and stop trying to be like a y'ian. I do wish though that my people drove better and smelt better and spoke better! But I am glad there are so many of us around. I feel much safer with our presence here. I can be myself. At least the self I was back home. I don't even have to befriend the freakin' y's if I don't feel like it. Ok maybe a couple. But, I don't really care too much if these y's understand me or not. Let them complain. Soon, we'll (those from x that is) be taking over the whole goddamn place and there's nothing these y folks can do about it. HEEHEEEHAAHAHHHHAAAAHH!!"


Conclusion:
Life's screwed up. So's my generalization. Still, spend less time worrying about "How do ah lose my identity real fast?", or "How on Earth am I going to keep it intact?", and spend more time trying to discover your true identity. What then is your true identity? Who knows. But I've got a feeling that it's got more to do with where you want to go, than where you are now, or where you come from.

"Internalizing"

Kaavya Viswanathan is a teenager of ethnic Indian origin. She's also a student at Harvard. And she's currently in the news for various reasons. After receiving a half a million for her book titled How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild and Got a Life, she was in line for confirming a movie deal for her book; when came the news that Kaavya seemed to have plagiarized passages from another writer (Megan McCafferty) and her literary works (if you could really call chick lit literary works of any sort). She later released a statement to the press explaining that:

"I wasn't aware of how much I may have internalized Ms. McCafferty's words. I am a huge fan of her work and can honestly say that any phrasing similarities between her works and mine were completely unintentional and unconscious."

A few columnists since then have pointed out the irony of her finally coming up with something original, even if it was just an apology, by use of the word internalize.

That irony apart, I haven't read her book, nor do I wish to comment on it's substance. I'd probably never read it, or any of McCafferty's work either. But I guess it's a sobering turn in the story of a young girl of ethnic (read non-white ) background. Whether it's her fault or her publishers' or her book packager's, she screwed up! You're really depraved if you're ripping off someone else's work from a bad genre anyway to write your book. Kinda like copying/plagiarizing answers from the last placed student's solutions to the class final final exam.



I saw this piece on ABC news late nite that alterted me to this new phenom , a variation to conventional Yoga - broadly termed as Christian Yoga. The motivation for this seems to be that some people are not comfortable with the Hindu chanting that accompanies Yoga sessions, and want to make it Christian. Notice the absence of any guilt at the bastardisation of the form of worship of another religion.

Great - so now the Christians are out there internalizing aspects of Hinduism and Hindu worship (not for the first time too!). Whatever. These ignorant idiots are deliberately ignoring the implications of this plagiarizing of another religion's form of worship. And this is hardly the first or the last instance of all things Asian that have been bastardized by the West.

But what about the influence of music and movies from the west (or other parts of the world) in Indian pop culture? There are so many instances of obvious direct rip-offs in songs, scenes and complete movies in Bollywood (commercial Hindi cinema). Obviously plagiarization of all sorts is absolutely rampant in today's society. You could call it inspiration, imitation, internalization. Or whatever else you can come up with. Everybody's doing it.

The bottomline is that to get to success & fame fast, it's easy to rip off someone else's work to cash in on their success or what worked right for them. There's almost guaranteed success in that direction. Only thing of consequence, when you haven't bothered to acknowledge your original source for the inspiration and pay due respects to them, is the 11th commandment (internalized from Jeffrey Archer who internalized it from the 10 commandments) - Thou shalt not get caught!

Recluse

Old habits die hard. Phone's ringing. It's the middle of the afternoon. The blinds reluctantly filter the sunlight into my room. They're on my side - the blinds I mean. I don't really want the sun in. I am still lying on my bed. And the phone's ringing. And then it stops.

It's back to the silence that probably preceded the phone call. Except, now I am awake once again. Since drifting off to sleep the last time the ringer went off. Then and now, just rode out the ringing without really doing anything. Several moments later, I finally turn to my side and pick up the mobile phone. Check caller ID.

F*&k! Should've taken this call. But, now's not the time to return the call and chat.

No. Not now. Now's not that time. Now's the time to wallow in listlessness; in the feeling that the sh*t's coming down hard all around me, but I am loath to respond to the situation.

Not that it's raining down that hard 'round me - the sh*t I mean. A little too opera-like that description - it's probably a good deal measure off the mark anyways. Whatever. (These are dark times indeed!) I stumble out of bed and a few necessary tasks later during which time quietly transpires itself by - walk the 10 minutes it takes me to get to the place I work at. Since I didn't specify if I walk those 10 minutes that it usually takes me to get to work - to actually walk to work or walk to somewhere else - I should tell you that thats what I do. That is - I walk those 10 minutes it takes me to get to work - to actually walk and get to work.

Once in the building, I try and avoid contact with people for the most part.

Khan Kan't or Kan He?

Well, it's happened. Salman (Nanga) Khan has been granted bail in a poaching case for which he had been earlier sentenced to 5 years in jail. Not that I am greatly surprised or something.

I did read about the Bishnoi tribe in Rajasthan, their vegetarianism, and their reverence of all nature (plant and animal life included - not just the usual lip service we pay to humanity and human rights). There are several sources available on the net about that. Here's this one for instance, relating a chilling incident in which hundreds of Bishnois, starting with Amrita Devi, laid down their lives protecting the trees in their vicinity. The Bishnoi lands are now off limits to hunters and the Black Buck, an animal held in great regard by the Bishnois, are protected species.
Salman Khan went to jail for killing a few of the same Black Buck (picture of one shown alongside). He killed a few deer in about 2 or 3 separate incidents spread over a week. There are several varying accounts of his hunting trips. But there is no denying that he did commit those acts.

Now that he's out on bail, he, his supporters and the legions of fans propping him will of course rejoice. But what about the Bishnois? How are they going to feel? Salman Khan and his entrouge came, shot and brutally killed their precious animals. He brutally violated their principles and their beliefs. If I was a Bishnoi, damn right I'd be pissed off as hell.

I don't know Salman, but its obvious from his actions in this case - this man considers himself far above the law that ordinary citizens have to obey. Of course, in many ways he is. As soon as news came of his arrest, there were tons of newspaper articles professing how much Salman loves animals, and how he's being persecuted because of his celeb status. Now how many of us have the power to do that? Of course, he's free now.

And that considerable power not withstanding, why must we pick on poor Salman? Salman the animal lover owns several dogs (its amazing how constantly people harp on how owning dogs and cats makes someone animal lovers - and then they promptly go about and have a large piece of steak for dinner!) keeps pets in his farmhouse, including keeping protected animals (illegally). Even if he did poach, so what? Thousands of animals are poached in India every year, and only a few are ever caught and prosecuted.

But so what if there are thousands of poachers out there still scot-free? I know this one was caught. And since people in India love to emulate their celebrity role models, I'd like to see this notorious role model for how to consistently get away with defying the law, idling in jail. Nail him. Make an example of this chump. Yup, I lean towards the side of the Bishnois. History has showed that they've put down their lives protecting their environment and truly consider all of nature sacred. That if anything is an ideal worth holding sacred and worth protecting.

And now that he's free, I would consider it equal payback if the Bishnois hunted down Salman Khan in the streets of Mumbai, shot him down with an arrow or a bullet, knelt beside his struggling self and slit his throat in cold blood (just like he killed one of the Black Bucks) and walked away free. Since Salman is above the law so must his killer be. Thats fair.

B for Bictory. B for Bendetta. B for Bishnoi.

I'll leave you with a picture of Nanga Khan celebrating after his release. I poached this picture off Mid-Day's site . He would be so proud of me.


P.S. Is that Helen (the great, voluptuous, yesteryear vamp - now Salman's step-mom) up in the balcony with him? Hmm... a couple of decades ago, the crowds would have waited for her to do what her step-son's been busy doing here. Now... Ah well! Such is life!

Onion Head

Growing up in Bombay has a lot to do with it. Potatoes (Batata) and onions (Kaanda) are staple diet for me. I can eat potatoes morning, noon, night, and still want more the next day, and still more all week.

But back to onions. There's just something about them that makes
me feel that no meal (I mean at the very least, no Indian meal) is complete without it. Chop it up fine and sprinkle it over daal or rajma or even some achaar, or saute em' in a little oil, add a few spices and then cook the rest of the vegetables all this while eagerly anticipating the moment you're going to bite into your dish, especially anticipating the taste of the onions soaked up in the spices. Mmmm!

Can you imagine eating the best streetside pav bhaaji without topping off the bhaaji with some onions? Or bhel?

And not to forget sandwiches or burritos. A good veggie bread sandwich, toasted or untoasted isn't complete without onions. A good burrito is also not complete without onions. That reminds me, another good use for onion is mixing them up with some hot jalapeno peppers in a food processor to make some tangy hot dip for your tortilla chips.

Italian food without sauteed onions just seems so blaaah sometimes! And imagine a garden omlette without onions (and peppers for that matter)! How can you eat greasy hashbrowns at Waffle House without having them smothered with onions?

I've even discovered a complete good-breath-destroyer little variation to eating potato chips. That's right. Add some chopped raw onions to your bowl of potato chips.

And it's not just me that them onions have me by my onions (ahem!). Onions (their scarcity rather) have brought down several governments in India. Back home (i.e. India), any government that does not keep the price of onions down under control is playing with fire. Who cares if onion scarcity or higher prices will reduce the number of people with bad breath by 66.67%?! (The other 33.33% are made up of garlic, and garlic + onion lovers - according to leading researchers in the area. That should convince you about its authenticity since I used the word research to back my claim!)

One day I will describe to you in boring detail how much the potato has been a part of my life since my earliest memories of eating. And I'm sure you'll be looking forward to that moment when your time will be totally wasted once again.

(pics courtesy: spacebar.blogsome.com, www.cok.net/lit/recipes/)

Bangladesh tigers on the prowl

Cricket's worst Test team Bangladesh had the best Test team (better than even the second best by a mile) Australia on the ropes on the 1st day of the 1st Test between Australia and Bangladesh.

Although the series is being played in Bangladesh, and that usually means flat, placid pitches at least for the first 3 days, the quantum leap they've made in terms of performances in the last couple of years has been very very promising. What's even more inspiring about their first day's performance is that they're playing against an almost full strength Aussie team fresh from their 3-0 cleanup of South Africa in South Africa.

Now if only they can bowl Australia out for a low score - it'll get the cynics up and about talking excitedly of how they always knew Bangladesh had it in them to scare the great Aussies and how it's good for the game, and blah, blah... At the very least, it'll stop them from crying for dismissal of Test status for Bangladesh.

Why do I care so much about Bangladesh cricket? I don't really. I just like the fact that the underdogs in this case are taking the Goliaths from down under, and hitting them hard so far. I always enjoyed a good scrap - especially when someone else is doing all the fighting. Heh! Heh!

Real Democracy is...

... all about choice.

Choice between:

Coke or Pepsi
Adidas or Nike
Britney or Jessica or ColdPlay or something even sissier
(please add more real difficult choices that we face here)


Fake democracy is...

...actually being given choices that allow us to make a difference.

We don't want fake democracy. Give me the real deal every time.

Discretized continuum

There is a wedding band on my finger. Feels heavy sometimes. Sometimes, I'm afraid it may just slip off my finger and roll away someplace where it can never be retrieved. I am still getting used to it; rolling it periodically when I'm tense, when I'm not really thinking about anything in particular.

Not that the ring should signify that life is somehow more precious now or something. Perhaps it is. Perhaps it should. I don't know. I know that it feels heavy sometimes. And it takes a little getting used to. And yet, because it's been in the works for so long, it's natural that it's on.

Still, these instant transitions can be freaky strange. Together for all those years, Sally and me, before we tied the knot. Here we were, happily prancing around the garden, singing, making out, and then suddenly, BAM!! ... Before we knew it, we were hitched - husband and wife. It was all like being in a drug induced haze. And in that instant life had somehow changed.

Ok, well. I kinda took a few liberties in describing the event I described earlier. It obviously didn't happen in that fashion. But I digress. What I was getting round to saying was that there was none of the smooth transition that's always taking place in everyday life where you don't even know change's taking place and before you know it something has changed irrevocably.

Like those friggin' birthdays. All this while you're X age. Then your B'day comes along. And instantly, you are now Y years old, where X is simply NOT Y, and will never ever be Y (Sniff!). And yet, you're actually just a day, an hour, a minute, a second (ok.. ok...you get the picture!) older. Why then the drastic human implication of being a year older? What crime have I committed to deserve this judgement?!! Why God?! WHY?!!

It just so seems that human beings are unable to comprehend and deal with continuous values in life, and therefore believe in discretization in order to manage continuous events.

Just thought I'd share this information with you.

Bombay street vendor Anna!

Yesterday, I briefly talked about street artists. Here's a story on/in Mid-Day about a street vendor Anna who makes money serving chai at night on the streets of Mumbai, and his interesting interactions with his customers. It's a very nice little piece illustrating once again that there are people out there who work very hard and innovatively at making a living (while others spend their time surfing on a computer and complaining about how there's nothing interesting out there! Heh! Heh!). We do see and know a lot of these people. And their stories are inspirational in their own ways.

I do visit Mid-day's website almost everyday. I guess because it gives me access to happenings in and around Bombay city and its suburbs. And also because it believes in good investigative journalism whereby all parties involved in a story are given the opportunity to put in their point of view (if they wish to). And some of Mid-day's columnists are really very good. Definitely a daily newspaper with some integrity.

Apart from their investigative journalistic stories, they also have interesting (and I suspect sometimes unintentionally funny) stories with slightly misleading headlines on their website. Sample this one titled "Tiger attacks man", and maybe you'll start to understand some of the content on Mid-day. Somehow, its captivating and interesting, and funny all at the same time. Makes for great timepass, that great Indian passtime.

Although, I do wish that they could provode a direct obvious link for the daily "Mid-day mate" on their website. Bombayites (Mumbaikars), you know what I'm talking about!:)

...ly Round-up!

* There's a nice discussion on abortion ban brewing (pun intended) at Ek Cup Coffee. My thoughts on the issue are basically pro-choice and pro woman's rights. Please do contribute your thoughts if you do have something to say about it.

* Venky has written a lovely piece on a unique street artist he encountered recently on a trip to Calcutta, India. Venky's also taken the effort to post a video recording of the artist in action, and has also scanned some of the artist's work. Reminds me of a Latin-American street artist my wife and I saw making paintings in a similar fashion in Wilmington, NC. Street artists everywhere, whether it be those painting, involved in craftwork, or performing ( pick-pocketing not included); take a bow.

* Finally, I understand that blogging sometimes involves linking to works of others and also reporting interesting stuff. Sadly, my blog fails to perform that particular function to any level of satisfaction. But I do like how blogging involves making people follow useless links of one's own work, and I sometimes do indulge in it myself. You very very very few (perhaps imaginary) loyal patrons of my blog will recognize a recurring theme of me talking about my struggles with going easy on other people, especially the question of whether "to bait or not to bait?" other people (here and here).

Well, there's not much else to report except that I am back to my earlier bad habits, and it's becoming difficult to consciously change.

Help me! Stop me!

Holy Shit! Suniel Shetty quits!!

Commercial Indian Hindi cinema (i.e. Bollywood) actor Suniel Shetty says "I quit"!

I say, "YAY!! GOOD RIDDANCE!"
Also, "Thank you - for deciding to spare us from further misery". Hope that his action inspires several of his ilk (i.e. piece of crap non-actors) to follow him on the way out and stay out. You people could use your spare time from all those hours (not) acting in movies to spend time with your families. And allow your children the chance to not be embarassed anymore among their friends by your lack of acting chops. Contriving hard to get yourselves sentenced to jail like Salman Khan is also highly encouraged. However, further loss of life ( human or protected deer or otherwise) and property (others' property that is) is not acceptable.

On second thoughts, who cares?! There's got to be something better to do besides dissing on poor Mr. Shetty while further sinking into depravity. Not that Mr. Shetty ever did anything more than want you to walk out of a movie he non- acted in, or throw something at your T.V.

Now, if only I can find that something to do...

What did you say? Work on my-Ph.D.-dissertation-and-on-getting-out-of-school-and-getting-a -job-so-that-my-wife-and-I-could-start-living-together?! What's that?

Where I lay my head is home. Or is it?

Home to me has always been my parent’s flat in Vashi, New Bombay. I spent a large part of my life living in that apartment. I had a room to myself, my own desk, my bed, my music system, my audio cassettes that I bought spending all of my monthly allowance, my posters, my books, my PC, my adult stash which I hoped were hidden from the others at home, but which everyone else at my place knew where they were located. My memories. Home was sitting in the balcony in the afternoon on Sundays watching traffic and people go by, watching TV while reading a newspaper and eating dinner all at the same time, quarreling with my sister and my parents in my years of teenage angst, and being consoled and cared for through all the good times and bad. Home was where I spent long hours with my friends. Home is the address that’s on my passport. Home was all that and so much more.

Not anymore though. My parents just moved to another city - Hyderabad. They’ve also passed on the flat in New Bombay (for a sum) to another family. It’s sad that I won’t be returning to that home ever again. It will be a new city. A new apartment. (Same parents though, of course.) Still, I refuse to believe that it’s as simple as that. That my hometown is not Bombay anymore just because my parents moved out. Bombay is still my birthplace. My memories live and thrive in Bombay. That somehow feels truer, than the physical reality that my parents no longer live there anymore.

My parents managed the move quite well without their thankless son being around to help out. The toughest part of the move for them, however, was not the packing and the loading. The toughest part was saying goodbye to neighbors, friends and extended family members who were part of our daily lives. For all sides concerned, life as we knew it had changed in some way. That we’ll tide over these changes as is in our nature is a given. But the change will remain, and it will hurt.

Here’s to our home that served us well for so long: May you long continue to bestow your nurturing shelter on your new occupants. And may they also look upon you with love and longing when it’s their turn to say goodbye.

Under the Weather

For those who care (or even those who don't), I have been under the weather off late. Started with flu-like symptoms: cold, cough, slight fever. Then got better for a few days (no fever, but had the cold and cough). And then fell ill again; high fever, still had the damn cold and cough. Turns out that I may have bronchitis. It's not as bad as it sounds. Anyways, so the reason I wasn't writing much was because I was sick for about 2 weeks, and am still not completely out of the woods yet.

It's nice that I can write anything I want (mostly crap) and I know some people will read it. A small few of those some will care. Most of them won't. But you'll still read it! Heh! Heh! That's the power I have over my readers.

Get a life, Sarat!

Keep an Eye out for

Meeta's blog is on my list of daily sites to visit. In fact, she has different blogs she maintains and to which she contributes: books and movies, random musings, and Ek Cup Coffee. Sib and I also contribute to Ek Cup Coffee. We're hoping the other bitches and ladies who're coffee regulars at Cup-A-Joe will start contributing soon. There's also the proposal to record our disjointed and heated conversations on everything that moves or doesn't. Don't really know if that will do the rest of y'all a world of good. But then none of us really claim to be "do-gooders".

By the way, if you don't like regular coffee, and believe in sissy Mochas and Lattes, you're are not invited.

Heart and Mind

Thoughts are to free. Trap them. Set them free once again.
The head rules. Hearts follow. Emotions run wild.

Hurts sometimes. But, what's done is done. Take solace in simple pleasures.
So far ahead down that path though.
Do-good, Do-bad. "For thy Country". For People. My people. Mine and yours.

Heart and mind. Yours is yours - mine is mine. My good is not yours. My bad is not yours. "Stop bad habits." "Speak good - not Evil" "Take god's name."

Your thoughts. Mine?

Let be. Subside. Desist.

Think. Let others think. Others are thoughts. In your mind. You've trapped them. Now set them free. As others will set you.

Let me think- Let that be your thought for me. And I will let you think.

battle

Always on the simmer. Imagined slights. Miscommuniations. Disproportionate responses. Distrust. Paranoia. Escalation. Conflagration. Hate.

Life is war. Everyday we wage fresh battle. Some days - you feel more cornered than others. On other days – you’re doing the cornering.

Some days - you just enjoy the sunshine. Birds in flight. Calm. Serene. Like everything around you - broken, sinking.

Does the end always look so pretty? If only it wouldn’t take a lifetime.

They tell you peace comes with waging no more wars. For the fighter, peace is in the middle of the battle. Imagined or real.

Tomorrow’s a fresh battle.

Smoking pot again (2)?

I like to think that we all question ourselves frequently, in one way or the other about what is enlightenment, really? I don’t have the answer to that question. And what’s more, I don’t even know if not having an answer is a good thing or a bad thing. Why? Because who the hell knows what’s good and what’s not for you?

But I do believe though that there are people who are truly enlightened. Some of them try to convey what it is that they see or not see. And some are just not too bothered about that and go on doing what they always do. I also get the feeling that several enlightened folks out there are people you would never know are enlightened. It would take one to know one, yes?!

But for the other folks out there like me who aren’t enlightened, it’s a constant struggle dealing with the issue of true enlightenment. I guess the analogy to me that sometimes befits the struggle is thus: It’s like you’re a child in this large house at the corner of a creepy street, far away from other homes. Your parents are fast asleep, in a room down the corridor. Suddenly you hear this noise in the pitch black of you room that’s coming from near the door. You feel like there’s something moving about the room. It starts to scare the hell out of you slowly but surely. So much so that you’re even afraid to shout out; and even if you try – not a peep comes out. What do you do then? Do you just pull the sheets over yourself, cover your ears and close your eyes – hoping that the noise just goes away? Or do you pull the sheets away, get up and investigate: turn the light on, or confront the noise you hear?

Discovering truth or even attaining enlightenment is sometimes like that. Sometimes you realize you are on this path where uncovering the truth could potentially lead to this thing called enlightenment at some unknown point on the journey (or some unknown final destination). But you also realize that uncovering the truth could spin everything you know around on its head. That potential outcome scares the hell out of you. You cannot imagine living your normal life anymore. Not when that big Elephant you’ve just uncovered has filled up the whole room that’s in your head and you can’t ignore it anymore.

Nah! Perhaps then it becomes easier to not uncover that dangerous truth. It’s far easier to live without knowing. Sure, life starts looking more farcical from that point of view. But perhaps the sad truth is that this is exactly what we asked for. This farcical life where truth and enlightenment are these higher pursuits we pay lip-service to, pretend to aspire for, read and write about, even deify the concept of truth and wisdom, and then force others on its path, and lie and kill to maintain and protect its imagined sanctity. Never once realizing it perhaps. Instead, what we’re really protecting and maintaining is the need to constantly keep the sheets over our heads. The fear of the unknown is far more bearable and less scary, than knowing the unknown. What we are protecting is our fear. Not truth, or wisdom, or the path to enlightenment or any of those things.

After all, what truth is worth protecting if it hasn’t been felt, understood, experienced or realized? Why must it be protected?

Maybe because the ultimate truth that’s too difficult to ever digest is that (Oh No!)"I’m a lie!"

Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi (2)

This is a continuation of my earlier piece on Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi.

It's good to know that this movie has a legion of followers. In case you haven't seen the movie, then take both Venky's and Sibin's advice (and of course, mine too) - do try and see this one.

Venky has put up some really good pictures/posters of the movie on his webpage. And Sibin has a wonderfully informative dedication to the movie on his blog, a piece that's a perfect read once you've seen the movie, that will make you reminisce (and provide insight) on the pivotal and subtle scenes in the movie, as well as, the socio-political context which provides the setting for the movie.

And really if you still want an additional incentive to see this movie, then do I have to tell you that Chitrangda Singh is truly HOT?! Check her out in what could well be one of her very few appearances on the silver screen.

Smoking pot again?

To achieve that perfect balance. Conflicts usually seem to be directed towards altering the balance, the status-quo towards one side or the other. A do-or-die situation for those waging the conflict on either side. The warriors rush headlong into battle, believing in only the resolution of the situation to their satisfaction. And at some point, for these warriors, the lines separating their beliefs, desires and ambitions get blurred. And when one side wins, it’s unclear as to whether the cost at which the resolution was earned was worth waging the battle in the first place.

Given this innate blurring and confusion that disallows us from achieving any lasting clarity, it would be foolhardy for us to confuse the warriors waging conflicts with believers of a particular cause. It’s clear that the warriors desire conflict resolution in their favour. But is it clear that they all desire the conflict resolution in their favour for the same reasons? Perhaps conflicts in the physical space are all results of the inability to resolve them in our own mental arenas. And the implicit, even sub-conscious desire, to see those mental conflicts resolved in a more tangible, physical space. Perhaps a space containing another human being. Perhaps several of them. Heck – all of them in my case!

Underneath that cloud of muddled thought which dooms us to muddled paths through life, one could perhaps discover the clarity of purpose. Some would claim to you that they’ve already achieved it. I would tell you to indulge those people as my kindergarten and primary teachers indulged me by listening to my increasingly fantastic (and with generous application of embellishments) stories and accounts of things that took place in my little life until then. It’s not like they’re all lying consciously. They’ve probably convinced themselves that they’re speaking the truth. But conviction should most definitely not be confused with truth.

If conviction is not necessarily truth, then is clarity the same as truth? Perhaps. But clarity is a personal realization. Clarity is truth if truth is also a personal realization. For that to be possible, an all encompassing truth that is above our individual realizations must not really exist then. But who knows that for sure? And on that basis, even truth is unclear. Perhaps our situation is truly analogous to the poem about the six blind men who are trying to feel their way around an elephant, and each of them ends up mentally modeling the elephant based on the part they’ve touched and felt but never seen. That truth is then only a personal realization.

But when that realization is blurred with conviction, it becomes an individual reality. And when that reality is further pondered upon and it then becomes apparent that it is not to our liking, then that conviction is used to transform that reality by means of a conflict. In that context, if there really exists an all-encompassing truth such as the elephant of which we are only privy to a miniscule part, which we cannot even see and therefore struggle to define, then it is no longer valid to compare it to the elephant as an analogy. Instead, it’s now more like a Swiss-knife. It still has many parts. But each part is a separate instrument. And we all use a different instrument to achieve our goals through conflict resolution. The truth or parts of it then become our weapons of choice. You could call it “Applied Truth”, if you will. Some probably label those instruments (not the Swiss-knife itself) as god. Still others call it the way, or the common good, or redemption. They then proceed to use these instruments or parts of the same Knife to resolve mutual conflicts with each other.

"Die motherf$%&er!"

Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi

(Picture courtesy: Eros Entertainment)

"Hazaaron khwaishein aisi
ki har khwaish pe dum nikle
Bahut nikle mere armaan
lekin phir bhi kam nikle"

- Mirza Ghalib

In an earlier post about Amitabh Bachchan, who is perhaps an institution in Indian cinema, I had complained about his penchant to star in remakes of popular Hollywood movies, despite his apparent distaste for the label Bollywood widely used to refer to commercial Hindi cinema.

While it's true that "Bollywood" largely churns out remakes, and it is also true that essentially producers, directors and scriptwriters generally spend time browsing DVD's of old classics and new hits from around the world (mostly Hollywood) to be "inspired" from, there is also this trend in Indian Cinema to increasingly move away from the norm and come up with unique products. The last few years, I have seen a fairly good amount of "experimental" and non-formulaic cinema from India that leads me to believe that there's a lot of great talent out there. In particular, "Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi" directed by Sudhir Mishra ("Is Raat Ki Subah Nahin") and starring: Kay Kay Menon, Chitrangda Singh and Shiney Ahuja, made a significant impact on me because of its sheer quality and execution.

The movie setting is the time period from the late 60's and through the early and mid-70's, which was a time of great turbulence in India, not just politically but also socially and culturally. Three individuals, played by the three leads, emerge from their college lives with differing ambitions and hopes and aspirations. The story traces their paths, sometimes intertwining through the mileu of their troubled times and their youth. It's a story that matches up idealism against opportunism, a story of all-consuming passion and unrequited love, a story of cynicism, and of broadsides against politics and political idealogies, with no prisoners taken. It is also unnervingly tragi-comic in some of the most heartrending situations. And in the end, the movie shows us that life at its core is just uncertainty and that anything can happen for no rhyme or reason.

The movie is highly multi-layered. At its core is the simple story of the three characters and what's basically a love-triangle that exists between them. At another level, it is about three different friends and the value systems they represent: a man who's rich, spoilt and perhaps fashionably idealistic and anti-establishment; a woman who's blindly in love with the the idealist perhaps attracted to the sheer magnetism of his pseudo-idealism; and
the third, a man in love with the woman, and also who's conflicted between idealism and reality, and decides to live life as a pragmatist and opportunist, ultimately cynical of mass movements and pseudo-idealism. At yet another level, is the commentary through these characters on the socio-political situation; in particular, the sarcasm through which the actions of Indira Gandhi before and during the Emergency is potrayed.

It's also very tough to pin down any moral lessons or a message that the movie is trying to promote. And I guess each person would probably extract something different out of the movie. But this engrossing, complex tale of the three main protagonists is, to me, by far the best Hindi movie I have seen in recent times. Perhaps ever.

Hazaaron Khwaishein Aisi is by no means the only quality Indian cinema I have seen off late. There have been several other movies that have come out recently from India that I have found to be very entertaining and fulfilling. (No, I am not talking about the moodily shot but ultimately pretentious and melodramatic "Black"!) If it weren't for them, and good Independent English language movies, I'd be lost in my search for good cinema. Fortunately, good cinema does co-exist along with the crap regularly churned out by Bollywood, and even more so by the biggest crap-producer of them all - Hollywood.

For "Bollywood" (sorry Mr. Bachchan - very few of your recent movies belong to Indian Cinema category!), the lesson to remember before blindly aping Hollywood crapart is: Garbage In, Garbage Out!

Promises and Lies (2)

As I promised I would try to do so earlier, I tried to hold myself back this evening, and go easy on my buddies while we sipped the usual cuppa last evening. I am glad to report that I was moderately successful in my attempt. Also, I did apologize for those few instances when I couldn't restrain myself. I am trying to get better at this. So help a friend out here!

On another note, was it just me, or was there some uneasy silence at the table this evening? Heh! Heh!

Falling Idols?

This is not a piece about American Idol. It’s a piece on Indian idols (not the program on TV). Real-life Indian personalities that the Indian public seem to respect greatly for one or the other reason, that aren’t really living it up to much of anything these days.

But anyway, there’re a couple of famous folks out there that I am sorta disappointed with these days (there’s probably a psychological reason behind why I seem to be disappointed in others, especially when I am most disappointed in myself – but we’re not going into that today! We’re not – EVER! Ok, Denial is another one of the factors at play here – but let’s not get there too – EVER!) The next couple of pieces deal with them.

Fading Star

Let’s start with the Actor of the last Century (according to a BBC worldwide poll in 1999), Amitabh Bachchan. That he is an icon is an understatement. God! I know there were several people like me who worshipped him once. And several more who still do. But here’s the reason why I think that he’s a fallen idol. First up, some of his old movies when I saw them again, really sucked. It’s taken me years to accept that these movies sucked. Ok, some of the others now actually seem better than they were before. And his acting in those good movies is still superlative. Ok then, that reason for calling him a fallen idol isn’t justified, and my problem is not with his past. It’s with his current.

Bachchan says all the time that he hates the label “Bollywood” used to denote commercial Hindi cinema and anything that’s connected to it. According to him, this implies that commercial Hindi cinema is inferior or is in some way subordinate to Hollywood. He takes offense to that implication. He believes that commercial Hindi cinema is more prolific than Hollywood and has an identity of its own. And several other senior Indian cinema artistes feel that way too.

But then, let’s look at some of the more recent movies of Mr. Bachchan; like Kaante, Sarkar, Family, Ek Ajnabee, etc. In most cases, these movies have been either directly lifted (copied) or are largely adapted from Hollywood movies. If he continues to agree to act in cinema that’s largely “inspired” from foreign cinema, especially Hollywood, then how the hell does he think that commercial Indian cinema is going to ever shake off that “ollywood” tag? Beats me!

And if he isn’t starring in remakes or copies, he’s acting in crap pseudo cinema of the Chopra’s and Johar’s (Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham, Mohobattein, etc.) Occasionally he gets to prove his acting chops in less commercial movies with original themes such as Virrudh, etc. But then these are so few and far between. If he’s doing so many “inspired” roles, what are the lesser actors and actresses to do? When’re you going to start to practice as you preach?

Let’s put it this way Mr. Bachchan. You sure must be getting a lot of scripts and must be sitting on a good pile of money to be able to effect a change. I agree that people are writing scripts for you that they’ve never ever done for an aging stalwart in Indian commercial cinema, and that’s a big change from the past. But you’ve got to put your foot down when it comes to remakes. An occasional “Aks” or “Viruddh” do not wash away the plethora of remakes and copies that you have starred in. The glory days of Don, Sholay, Deewar, Trishul, Agneepath, etc. may not necessarily be over.

Broken Bat

What’s even more influential than commercial Indian cinema? Indian cricket and the national cricket team. Given the flow and ebb of the tides of change in the team, there has been one silent constant in all that cricket jazz, and that’s the one man perhaps even greater than Mr. Bachchan in the manner in which he has carried the hopes and aspirations of millions for almost two decades, and that’s Sachin Tendulkar.

Again, his contribution to cricket is immense. But when contributions start to resemble mere statistics, then something’s changed – either in our perception, or in the quality of the performance itself. The fact is that Sachin has been plagued by bad luck, like Karna from the Indian mythological epic Mahabharat. Karna was a great warrior in the epic, second to none, but events in his life, several not of his making, doomed him and his skills to fail him when he needed them the most. Sachin’s career has been kinda like that too. Some of his performances have been nothing short of astounding. But still, in many of the greatest Indian victories since he’s started playing for India, very few have cast him in extraordinary match-winning performances. In most of these great victories he’s been a failure. It’s usually the others who have put their hands up and taken the team over the finish line. And then there’s the long list of “oh-so-close” games he’s performed superbly in. But somehow, he failed to convert those to wins after taking the team to the edge of victory. Perhaps it’s those several almost-wins, those “could have, should have” moments that breaks Indian cricket’s collective heart.

It’s not like Sachin doesn’t try. He’s still a great bat (not of the blind, flying type) – just look at that his record. But that’s just not enough. He needs to start carrying the team over the finish line, especially on those occasions when we need him the most. And evidently, his current approach of playing with caution is not proving to be very successful! My friend Pranav mentioned to me the example of another great batsman Aravinda De Silva, of Sri Lanka, who in the twilight of his career started to play like he belonged to another planet. He was virtually indestructible. And he played with that reckless abandon that made Viv Richards arguably the best ever player of the game. That puts paid to the idea that batsmen slow down when they get older. Not great ones! Why isn’t Sachin emulating Aravinda? With more and more players around now who can share the responsibility and hopes, he should try playing with that reckless abandon, be the wild-card who plays for the joy of the game and for the simple joy of entertaining millions, even billions. Kinda like the Sachin of 16-17 when he started playing. Not with the fear of failure. But with the lust for victory.

What’s stopping you Sachin? Your endorsements? Your carefully constructed image? Don’t you want the label “the best” attached to your name once again?



Update: (April, 2007)
For Sachin a lot seems to be happening quite in a hurry. Although some people could claim that they'd already spotted it all from a mile away. But you could never be sure. Because some of us hoped things would turn out different.

Anyway, with the World Cup 2007 debacle now having firmly set itself onto the minds of Indian cricket fans, Sachin has serious rethinking ahead of him - if he hasn't started already. The more he denies himself that re-thinking of his priorities, of his physical limitations brought about by years of batting long hours and weilding heavy bats, and of his innumerable endorsements and committments the more cricket fans will be doing that for him. And it's always best to do your own thinking.

Get me the barf bag

“No really. I understand what you’re saying. But it’s just that – by forcing it down my throat, you’re making me gag and vomit my guts out on your clean, pressed clothes.”

New age therapies, old-age religions, and pyramid business schemes, all sound the same when they’re portrayed as the next best thing to chocolate (itself a debatable topic). For instance, in the computer science world, it’s the new “open-source is best” movement that has me gagging (apart from “iPods are the best”). Again, I have no problems with open-source (or iPods). Being a PhD student myself, and slightly liberal in my beliefs, I tend to believe that knowledge should be freely shared and used by people. But then there are little factors such as; compensation, incentive to innovate more and, of course, accountability, that are businees realities and define individuality in commercial terms. On all these counts open-source doesn’t quite deliver (at least, not just yet). And thats why people still develop and buy proprietary solutions.

Fred Brooks (UNC-Chapel Hill), a great computer science and software engineering pioneer, once said (and wrote a whole damn book about it) regarding software engineering, that there’s “No Silver Bullet”, i.e. there really isn’t a single methodology or paradigm out there that can be considered the end-all solution for everything. Different solutions work in different situations. It doesn’t mean we stop trying to find that “Silver Bullet”. I can see several situations that open source would be perfect. But I can also see several others where they won't, and instead could be potentially disastrous. It’s a nice concept, but its not The Silver Bullet. Not even close.

It’s all fine and dandy to use pseudo-imaginative PowerPoint presentations to present visions of the future. But true visionaries concerned about transforming the world for the global “good” aren’t selling books, software, or feel-good philosophy to you. If they’re pimping something, surely they must have a vested interest in it themselves. At least the smart ones probably do. It makes perfect business sense to convince people (customers and foot soldiers alike) of the need to buy their product. The newly converted foot soldiers and die-hard customers (sometimes they’re the same people) probably realize much later on in life that they were used by the smart, manipulative people up at the top to forward their personal agendas, who then cut and ran when the going got rough.

My limited understanding of marketing and sales is that before you sell something, you need to first find out if there really is a market out there, and if there isn’t, then you’ve got to invest in creating a need for your product. You just have to be skeptical when you’re about to pay a price (whatever it may be) for something new.

Besides, who decides what’s good for you and what’s not? You? Your ancestors? The government? Private business? Priests, temples, religious zealots, new age gurus? Who? Take your pick. Meanwhile, bring that barf-bag along with you when you’re coming round my door to convert me to something new.