Smoking pot again (2)?

I like to think that we all question ourselves frequently, in one way or the other about what is enlightenment, really? I don’t have the answer to that question. And what’s more, I don’t even know if not having an answer is a good thing or a bad thing. Why? Because who the hell knows what’s good and what’s not for you?

But I do believe though that there are people who are truly enlightened. Some of them try to convey what it is that they see or not see. And some are just not too bothered about that and go on doing what they always do. I also get the feeling that several enlightened folks out there are people you would never know are enlightened. It would take one to know one, yes?!

But for the other folks out there like me who aren’t enlightened, it’s a constant struggle dealing with the issue of true enlightenment. I guess the analogy to me that sometimes befits the struggle is thus: It’s like you’re a child in this large house at the corner of a creepy street, far away from other homes. Your parents are fast asleep, in a room down the corridor. Suddenly you hear this noise in the pitch black of you room that’s coming from near the door. You feel like there’s something moving about the room. It starts to scare the hell out of you slowly but surely. So much so that you’re even afraid to shout out; and even if you try – not a peep comes out. What do you do then? Do you just pull the sheets over yourself, cover your ears and close your eyes – hoping that the noise just goes away? Or do you pull the sheets away, get up and investigate: turn the light on, or confront the noise you hear?

Discovering truth or even attaining enlightenment is sometimes like that. Sometimes you realize you are on this path where uncovering the truth could potentially lead to this thing called enlightenment at some unknown point on the journey (or some unknown final destination). But you also realize that uncovering the truth could spin everything you know around on its head. That potential outcome scares the hell out of you. You cannot imagine living your normal life anymore. Not when that big Elephant you’ve just uncovered has filled up the whole room that’s in your head and you can’t ignore it anymore.

Nah! Perhaps then it becomes easier to not uncover that dangerous truth. It’s far easier to live without knowing. Sure, life starts looking more farcical from that point of view. But perhaps the sad truth is that this is exactly what we asked for. This farcical life where truth and enlightenment are these higher pursuits we pay lip-service to, pretend to aspire for, read and write about, even deify the concept of truth and wisdom, and then force others on its path, and lie and kill to maintain and protect its imagined sanctity. Never once realizing it perhaps. Instead, what we’re really protecting and maintaining is the need to constantly keep the sheets over our heads. The fear of the unknown is far more bearable and less scary, than knowing the unknown. What we are protecting is our fear. Not truth, or wisdom, or the path to enlightenment or any of those things.

After all, what truth is worth protecting if it hasn’t been felt, understood, experienced or realized? Why must it be protected?

Maybe because the ultimate truth that’s too difficult to ever digest is that (Oh No!)"I’m a lie!"