For every expatriate of a country
x living abroad in country
y, you might find yourself in 3 broad kinds of places in
y. Some of you mught have experienced all three in one place over a period of time. (Several of you will have no idea what I am currently trippin' on.)
A. Oh so very few from
x living around you
If so, you're probably thinking:
"God! I wish there was someone from
x living around here. Someone I could relate to. This place is so freakin barren and alien. And I am so tired of being like the locals, eating their goddamned crappy food and pretending to enjoy their freakin' country and their music, and their so called
culture and
cuisine. Hell! I am just here for the opportunities and the money."
B. A good number of those from
x living around you. But they're not all over the place or something.
If so, you're probably thinking:
"God! I wish there weren't so many of them from
x around here like me. Especially those untidy, smelly ones with the funny accents they haven't bothered to adapt to
y. Now the locals
think I am like that smelly, dark
x character - while I am clearly not. Also, I am not unique here in any way. I should be friendly with those from
x though, since I don't want to feel alone in an alien country. But they'll start cosying up to me too much, or judge me and all that - me with my changed lifestyle and already having adapted myself to
y. In fact, I secretly want these
y's to think I am from
y and not really from
x. But I am not really from
y am I? And what if these
y people always think of me as from
x no matter how
y I become? I don't want to be considered a
x'ian! What do I do? God! I am so freakin' confused!"
C. A very large number of
x living around you. So many that they can be seen and heard everywhere.
And if that's so, then you're probably thinking:
"God! These freakin' locals. They always look at me funny and make fun of my accent all the time. You know what? F**k 'em. I am going to be an
x'ian and stop trying to be like a
y'ian. I do wish though that my people drove better and smelt better and spoke better! But I am glad there are so many of
us around. I feel much safer with our presence here. I can be myself. At least the self I was back home. I don't even have to befriend the freakin'
y's if I don't feel like it. Ok maybe a couple. But, I don't really care too much if these
y's understand me or not. Let them complain. Soon, we'll (those from
x that is) be taking over the whole goddamn place and there's nothing these
y folks can do about it. HEEHEEEHAAHAHHHHAAAAHH!!"
Conclusion:
Life's screwed up. So's my generalization. Still, spend less time worrying about "How do ah lose my identity real fast?", or "How on Earth am I going to keep it intact?", and spend more time trying to discover your true identity. What then is your true identity? Who knows. But I've got a feeling that it's got more to do with where you want to go, than where you are now, or where you come from.
